August 6, 2011 § Leave a comment
So, the other half requested Pound Cake for his birthday. Pound Cake? What?
Only four ingredients, in equal proportion: butter, sugar, eggs, flour. That’s all, folks.
It sunk alarmingly: http://twitter.com/#!/leoniedoyle/statuses/99653996880470016
But I got away with it.
August 2, 2011 § 2 Comments
k here is something RUDE that happened to me yesterday!
I went to this burrito place to get a BEAN BURRITO which is retarded because lol, Australians trying to make burritos, right? I mean, I don’t even know what a real burrito is like. So I guess it doesn’t matter. ANYWAY.
I walk in and I am like hOOOoo, this place is a bit emptier than I remember it but I order and I quickly add “no sour cream, no guacamole” because they slap that on before you can say no. So then he is ~bizzy hands~ behind the counter and such and then out pops my half made burrito and it has guacamole all over one side so I go “uh, actually I said no guacamole”
and right about now I am rly sick of typing out GUACAMOLE ugh
and the guy gives me a ~look~ and then gets his latex gloved hand and SCRAPES the guacamole off with his fingers and sort of shakes it into a bin like he is flicking crap off his hand. So now we have a burrito with avocado residue on it that someone has been finger painting in.
So I THINK FAST and say “actually I’m really allergic to avocado so you’re going to have to make a new one, sorry.” LOL! And then he gives me an even worse ~look~ and chucks his avocado finger painting in the bin and he says he says:
“It works a lot better if you tell us what you do want, not what you don’t want.”
Or something very like that. And I am good at taking discipline so I just go “k” in a tiny little voice just like that. And from then on I speak in single words that mean things that I want on my burrito. Step to the left. SALSA. Step to the left. LIME. Except I have to ask for rice because rice comes with burritos but only on your test burrito, evidently.
And then we finally come to the end of the line where a foil wrapped burrito is slung across the stainless steel at me like a Russian missile and I hand over $10. I stick out my palm when I see the ten cents change coming, but he slaps it on the counter instead.
Since my palm is now unoccupied, I consider slapping his face with it.